This is a poem by David Hammond.
Here's the story: I was in a walking “class” for P.E. credits. For the midterm, I was assigned to write a 400-word essay describing my experience walking and restating some of the information we got on some handouts. I thought that was a really boring and pointless assignment, so I decided to have fun with it. Here was my submission:
I like to walk. It is so great. I keep an eye on my heart rate. It speeds a bit; that's how I tell my exercise is going well. In the sun or in the rain, with hiking boots or with a cane, I plod along the long dirt road and get into a spacey mode. I think of things I plan to do, like adding SVG specs to my standards information charts, split up into respective parts for CSS and DOM as well, and near as far as I can tell Mozilla seems to take the lead. I see I'm slowing; pick up speed!
Ah, now my heart picks up again. Walking keeps my belly thin. If I just sat around all day, there's no telling how much I'd weigh. I'd be so big, when I fall down, it'd clear the floor ten feet around. But now I keep myself in shape. With feathered hat and flowing cape, I set out on my epic quest to strengthen this thing in my chest.
When I'm as lonely as the moon, I play inside my head a tune and walk along the grassy trails among the birds and goats and snails and ducks and geese and ants and fish that'd make a nice high-protein dish. I don't quite care for things with scales, but I can't say I've tried the snails.
It's getting hot, I need hydration. Thankfully, for this occasion, in my pack I have a bottle. Bottom's up, and off full-throttle. Walking past the speeding cars, around the moon and out past Mars, circle Saturn once or twice. Now I'm feeling pretty nice. A spaceship comes up to my side. They want to hitch a faster ride. On my back, I take them past ten solar systems somewhat fast. They wish me well and off I go, pace myself around Pluto. A hundred times around I walk (not much more than a city block), and back to Earth I head along, humming some Elaran song.
Walking keeps me nice and FIT: I do it every chance I get, I do a rather hasty mile, and I do it for a while. Walking helps me feel my best and keeps me from getting depressed. It's nature's perfect exercise and keeps me at a healthy size. It's best combined with healthy diet. There's no reason not to try it. Strolling, fitness, power, race... whatever is your ideal pace. I'll keep on walking every day, just please present me with an “A”.
In case you're wondering, I got an “A”.